the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
