come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
