im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
