dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
