So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
