your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
