So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize