Where did you get a picture of my penis
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize