everyone is single if you try hard enough
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We left the knife in your bed.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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