Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
