what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
