The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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