just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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