i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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