I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
that may or may not have been my penis.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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