I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
