Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
