I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
