no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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