I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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