this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
