Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
