He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
