Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
whose parrot is this?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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