it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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