We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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