I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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