omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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