bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize