I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
