i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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