The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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