According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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