dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
