Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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