how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
