I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize