I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
