Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
