I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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