Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i out mim tonsoeep
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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