dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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