im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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