Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Welp...herpes.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
