We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
