Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My hand turned me down
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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