I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
