I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We named our party play list daddy issues
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
