Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
one might say we're banned from that church
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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