Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
