what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
