Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We have so much sex to catch up on
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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