Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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