escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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