hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
