i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
