Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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