and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
