his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
