You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
