Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
