I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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