i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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