woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
