It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
