The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
