Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
