Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
