my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize