i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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