i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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