Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
