Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
