dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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