Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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